There's nothing like a lot of puking that gets life into perspective for a person! We've all been sick with the stomach flu. It began with Lincoln on Monday morning, then to Micah Monday night, then to me Tuesday morning, then Wynter, Mark and Savannah Tuesday night, then John late Tuesday night, Wednesday morning...oh yeah, it completely skipped Hunter. How did he get to be so lucky?
It definitely took all the of the appeal for food away. I need that. But, more needful, was putting my life into perspective. I really have been simply surviving life and not really enjoying it. I guess that is understandable in some ways. I spend each day doing the same things over and over. A lot of what I do goes unnoticed and unappreciated from my family. Don't get me wrong, I love being a Mom, but it can get pretty darn redundant.
But, while lying there, very very still...I wished I could be up, doing those everyday things. The several loads of laundry, the loads of dishes, picking up toys, vacuuming, organizing, going for a walk at the park, reading a book to my youngest kids, sitting in the backyard while the kids jump on the trampoline, playing with my kids, etc., etc.
I began to feel a little bit better Wednesday morning and felt eager to get some cleaning done. What a satisfying feeling, even if it gets messy again in 17 seconds flat. Today I thorougly enjoyed prodding Hunter to get his homework done and have him read his book to me. Playing with Lincoln was pure joy and making dinner for my family was okay (I don't like making dinner, so for this to be okay, is a step up).
I don't think this illness was a coincidence in time. I really believe that all things happen for a reason. And the reason this happened now was because I was beginning to really resent the tediousness of my life.
I have been a mother for nearly 16 years. I have been pregnant for 4 years and 10 months of my life (that is for 6 living children and 2 miscarriages). By the time Lincoln is potty trained (in maybe 2 1/2 years from now), I will have changed approximately 36,000 diapers. I have breastfed for 5 1/2 years of my life. I have done probably 5000 loads of laundry since my first child was born. And dishes? At least one load of dishes per day for 16 years x 365 days...that's 5840 loads. These things do get pretty monotonous, but all the other stuff...that is what makes it all worthwhile.
*The countless "I love you, Mommy" s.
*The many, many drawings that have been given to me (and many of which hang on my bedroom wall).
*The late nights spent talking with my oldest 2 children about really important things (and not so important things, too).
*The slobbery baby kisses.
*The cuddles on the couch while we read a book or watch a movie.
*The tickle fights.
*Sunday afternoon drives as a family.
*The hugs I still am given by my 13 and 16 year old children.
*The homemade cards I receive on birthdays and mother's days.
*The many mornings when the children have all ended up with John and I snuggling in our bed.
*All the times my kids have surprised me by cleaning for me without being asked.
*The times I sit quietly and observe my children playing nicely with one another.
*All the giggly, silly times that we laugh over basically nothing...but it's funny anyway.
This list could really go on and on. It does and it will. Overall, being a mom is pretty great. The world certainly doesn't think so, but I don't do what the world says I should. I have followed my heart on this one. I knew I wanted to be a mother since I was very young and I have followed through with that. Honestly, I have failed at pretty much everything I have ever done. But, at being a mother, I haven't. I don't always know what to say or do (well, mostly I don't), and I mess up every day, but I feel like I am doing my very best. My kids know that I love them. They know that their Father in Heaven loves them. They know that they have a Savior. Those are the most important things.
So, yes, my life will be tedious to a point...it has to be. Kids thrive in routine and frankly, so do I. But, I also know there will be those magical moments sprinkled throughout the routine that make it all worth it. Someday I will look back and miss this...
