Yesterday was full of mood swings (all mine, I'm afraid)! I didn't get much sleep the night before, and when I don't get enough sleep...watch out! I got going early, because John doesn't work Fridays, and he wanted to go to a coin show in Sandy. So, Lincoln, Micah and I tagged along. We got home just in time to pick the younger kids up from school.
I love that John collects coins. That is partly why we chose the name Lincoln for our baby. John is also a hunter. That is partly why Hunter has his name and Micah's middle name is Orion.
By about 5pm, I began to fall apart. What do I do for fun? What are my hobbies? What is my identity besides that of wife and mother? I cried. John was sweet and tried to comfort me. Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love being a wife and mother. When I was a little girl, I played house. I dreamed of being a mother. I also know that there is nothing more important that I could be doing.
I finally decided that I'm a Squib. Most stay at home moms that I know (including my mother), are very talented in "homemaking skills". I am a mother, but don't have the typical homemaking skills of sewing, or cooking, or crocheting, or baking, etc. Therefore, I am a Squib. I have the babies, I stay home, but I don't sew. I have to ask Savannah to sew a button on for me, because I can't do it. I figure, why sew when you can use a staple gun? (Of course, this wouldn't work for making clothes, but this is why I have my Mom). I do cook, but I don't like to and I'm not particularly good at it. I don't crochet, or scrapbook, either.
I'm crying and telling my husband these things, and of course, he always knows what to say. He said that none of that matters to him. That having me stay home with our kids and love them, play games with them, read to them and spend time with them is all that matters to him, and is all that really matters anyway. That calmed me a bit, because I can, and do, do those things. I can love my children, and I do. I can play games with my children, and I do. I can spend time with them and read to them, and I do. I am so grateful for a husband he loves me how I am. I am just stumbling through, playing this mother thing by ear. But, because he thinks I do a good job and isn't disappointed in my Squibiness...I feel good about what I'm doing.
We did go on to discuss developing talents. I have a piano that was given to me by my mother, and I can play a little, but I'd like to practice and get better. I'd also like to learn how to speak spanish. And, as for the typical homemaking skills, I think if I can prepare a meal that doesn't cause food poisoning, that I am being successful. I think I will also have Savannah teach me how to sew on a button, because what will I do when she is gone? I don't have a desire to learn how to sew clothes, so I think I will just shop as wisely as I can so that I can dress my children in the most economical way.
I am so grateful to be a mother. I learn so much from my children. Even if I am the Squib kind, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in this world.
P.S. If you don't know what a Squib is, you've got to read the Harry Potter books! But, I'll give you the definition. A Squib is born of Wizard parents, but is not a wizard themselves. So, they are of wizards, but don't have the magic...Cynthia
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Well, another day is done. All I can say is Phewwww!! I am so tired! Today I tried to look for the humor in everything, and I've got to say, there is a lot!!! I think I will just make a list. Is it always this funny around here? I'm not sure. Maybe it is and I need to pay better attention on a daily basis...
1) I came upstairs this morning to our cat (named Socks) um, how should I say..."loving" my husband's shoe. Yes, it is true. Socks has a shoe fetish. I mean, hello? He's male, so he's not in heat. What the heck is he doing to the shoe? Savannah tried to take it from him, as he began to lick it and he attacked her! We finally got the shoe away from Socks and I put him outside.
2) I've been sick with an ear infection and haven't been feeling well. So today, after I got Lincoln down for a nap and Micah watching some tv, I decided to take a snooze on the couch. I had a very vivid dream. John and a bunch of friends (who were like faceless puppet creatures, hee hee), loaded up into the suburban dressed in church attire, and took off. He left me with no explanation of where he went to. When I looked outside, I noticed that our other car wasn't there. I had one of those weird dream things where I searched every where, running and running, and I couldn't find the car. Then later on in the dream, I notice the car parked a block down the street. Then I am awakened from my dream because Lincoln woke from his nap and John brought him upstairs. I then told John about my dream and then began questioning him. "Where did you and your friends go? And why did you park the car so I couldn't find it?" He says "I can't tell you where I was going in YOUR dream! And why I did what I did in YOUR dream!" I said, " I KNOW, I just really want to know why!!!" We had a good laugh over that.
3) John and I have started a weight loss program together. And I need to face facts. He is kicking my butt! So, I pleaded with him today to stop losing weight for just a couple of weeks so I could catch up! He laughed and, of course, said no! I am so proud of him. He has lost nearly 30 pounds since Christmas time and he looks great.
4) At 9pm, the 4 youngest children are to go to bed (in theory). Then I get about an hour with just Mark and Savannah. Savannah wants a different picture for facebook, so Mark was taking pictures of her. It was so fun to watch them banter back and forth. Then Savannah started taking pictures of Lincoln, who was in my lap. He looked adorable, but in the background, there is me, looking half-dead. Mark and Savannah got a good laugh out of that. I am so glad I can bring laughter and joy to my children, even if it is at my expense!
Today has been a very good day. It can be so noisy around here, so much so that I can't think, let alone hear myself think. But if it were quiet, that would mean I had an empty house. I don't like that idea. I know that one day it will be just John and I, and I know I will enjoy that, but I will miss the noise. And, dare I say, I will miss the mess, too. Toys strewn on the floor means a baby lives here. Legos that I constantly step on (and that really hurts!), means that some little boys live here. Hair ties, brushes, and clothes on the bathroom floor means that some girls live here. A Playstation 2 that gets left out means a teenaged boy lives here. I love my kids. I love the fun and the work that they bring into my life. And, of course, I love my husband, too! Cynthia
1) I came upstairs this morning to our cat (named Socks) um, how should I say..."loving" my husband's shoe. Yes, it is true. Socks has a shoe fetish. I mean, hello? He's male, so he's not in heat. What the heck is he doing to the shoe? Savannah tried to take it from him, as he began to lick it and he attacked her! We finally got the shoe away from Socks and I put him outside.
2) I've been sick with an ear infection and haven't been feeling well. So today, after I got Lincoln down for a nap and Micah watching some tv, I decided to take a snooze on the couch. I had a very vivid dream. John and a bunch of friends (who were like faceless puppet creatures, hee hee), loaded up into the suburban dressed in church attire, and took off. He left me with no explanation of where he went to. When I looked outside, I noticed that our other car wasn't there. I had one of those weird dream things where I searched every where, running and running, and I couldn't find the car. Then later on in the dream, I notice the car parked a block down the street. Then I am awakened from my dream because Lincoln woke from his nap and John brought him upstairs. I then told John about my dream and then began questioning him. "Where did you and your friends go? And why did you park the car so I couldn't find it?" He says "I can't tell you where I was going in YOUR dream! And why I did what I did in YOUR dream!" I said, " I KNOW, I just really want to know why!!!" We had a good laugh over that.
3) John and I have started a weight loss program together. And I need to face facts. He is kicking my butt! So, I pleaded with him today to stop losing weight for just a couple of weeks so I could catch up! He laughed and, of course, said no! I am so proud of him. He has lost nearly 30 pounds since Christmas time and he looks great.
4) At 9pm, the 4 youngest children are to go to bed (in theory). Then I get about an hour with just Mark and Savannah. Savannah wants a different picture for facebook, so Mark was taking pictures of her. It was so fun to watch them banter back and forth. Then Savannah started taking pictures of Lincoln, who was in my lap. He looked adorable, but in the background, there is me, looking half-dead. Mark and Savannah got a good laugh out of that. I am so glad I can bring laughter and joy to my children, even if it is at my expense!
Today has been a very good day. It can be so noisy around here, so much so that I can't think, let alone hear myself think. But if it were quiet, that would mean I had an empty house. I don't like that idea. I know that one day it will be just John and I, and I know I will enjoy that, but I will miss the noise. And, dare I say, I will miss the mess, too. Toys strewn on the floor means a baby lives here. Legos that I constantly step on (and that really hurts!), means that some little boys live here. Hair ties, brushes, and clothes on the bathroom floor means that some girls live here. A Playstation 2 that gets left out means a teenaged boy lives here. I love my kids. I love the fun and the work that they bring into my life. And, of course, I love my husband, too! Cynthia
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Wednesday January 27, 2010
My First Entry!
This is exciting and scary at the same time! What should I write? Well, thanks to my husband and children, I have plenty of material. But, for my first entry, I will tell a little about ourselves. My name is Cynthia and I am 36 years old. I am married to John, who is 35. We have 6 children. Our oldest is Mark. He is 15 and a sophmore in high school. He is very creative and artistic. Next is Savannah. She is 13 and in 7th grade. She loves to write stories and is a big help to me with my younger children. Then there is Wynter. She is 9 and in 3rd grade. She is very smart and athletic. Hunter is next. He is 7 and in 1st grade. He loves to write and tell stories. Then there's Micah. He is 5 and in preschool. He is Hunter's little shadow. He has a lot of energy and is either 100% on or asleep. Finally there is our youngest, Lincoln. He is 7 months old. He is a very happy baby. He lights up the room and our lives with his smile.
John and I met on a dating web site. Six weeks later we were married. Yes, that is very fast and I don't recommend it. But, when it's right, it's right! We are very much in love. We've had our ups and downs, but we are committed to each other and to our children. We still laugh together and have fun. We go on a date every week.
I am a stay-at-home mom. I am so lucky to be able to do this! My children are my priority and I am so thankful to my husband for being the provider so that I can be the nurturer. Somedays I consider working because I feel like I'm going crazy! But I know that would be a mistake. I don't want to miss anything and I know my kids need me right now.
I intend to use this blog to write about our life as a family and use it as a tool for myself, to help me see the humor and the good in my life. Sometimes it is very hard. But as I look for the humor and keep in mind the blessings in my life, things are much more bearable and yes, wonderfully wonderful! My motto is: Life is hard, but I can do hard things.
Cynthia
This is exciting and scary at the same time! What should I write? Well, thanks to my husband and children, I have plenty of material. But, for my first entry, I will tell a little about ourselves. My name is Cynthia and I am 36 years old. I am married to John, who is 35. We have 6 children. Our oldest is Mark. He is 15 and a sophmore in high school. He is very creative and artistic. Next is Savannah. She is 13 and in 7th grade. She loves to write stories and is a big help to me with my younger children. Then there is Wynter. She is 9 and in 3rd grade. She is very smart and athletic. Hunter is next. He is 7 and in 1st grade. He loves to write and tell stories. Then there's Micah. He is 5 and in preschool. He is Hunter's little shadow. He has a lot of energy and is either 100% on or asleep. Finally there is our youngest, Lincoln. He is 7 months old. He is a very happy baby. He lights up the room and our lives with his smile.
John and I met on a dating web site. Six weeks later we were married. Yes, that is very fast and I don't recommend it. But, when it's right, it's right! We are very much in love. We've had our ups and downs, but we are committed to each other and to our children. We still laugh together and have fun. We go on a date every week.
I am a stay-at-home mom. I am so lucky to be able to do this! My children are my priority and I am so thankful to my husband for being the provider so that I can be the nurturer. Somedays I consider working because I feel like I'm going crazy! But I know that would be a mistake. I don't want to miss anything and I know my kids need me right now.
I intend to use this blog to write about our life as a family and use it as a tool for myself, to help me see the humor and the good in my life. Sometimes it is very hard. But as I look for the humor and keep in mind the blessings in my life, things are much more bearable and yes, wonderfully wonderful! My motto is: Life is hard, but I can do hard things.
Cynthia
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