A Squibby Mother

Yesterday was full of mood swings (all mine, I'm afraid)! I didn't get much sleep the night before, and when I don't get enough sleep...watch out! I got going early, because John doesn't work Fridays, and he wanted to go to a coin show in Sandy. So, Lincoln, Micah and I tagged along. We got home just in time to pick the younger kids up from school.

I love that John collects coins. That is partly why we chose the name Lincoln for our baby. John is also a hunter. That is partly why Hunter has his name and Micah's middle name is Orion.

By about 5pm, I began to fall apart. What do I do for fun? What are my hobbies? What is my identity besides that of wife and mother? I cried. John was sweet and tried to comfort me. Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love being a wife and mother. When I was a little girl, I played house. I dreamed of being a mother. I also know that there is nothing more important that I could be doing.

I finally decided that I'm a Squib. Most stay at home moms that I know (including my mother), are very talented in "homemaking skills". I am a mother, but don't have the typical homemaking skills of sewing, or cooking, or crocheting, or baking, etc. Therefore, I am a Squib. I have the babies, I stay home, but I don't sew. I have to ask Savannah to sew a button on for me, because I can't do it. I figure, why sew when you can use a staple gun? (Of course, this wouldn't work for making clothes, but this is why I have my Mom). I do cook, but I don't like to and I'm not particularly good at it. I don't crochet, or scrapbook, either.

I'm crying and telling my husband these things, and of course, he always knows what to say. He said that none of that matters to him. That having me stay home with our kids and love them, play games with them, read to them and spend time with them is all that matters to him, and is all that really matters anyway. That calmed me a bit, because I can, and do, do those things. I can love my children, and I do. I can play games with my children, and I do. I can spend time with them and read to them, and I do. I am so grateful for a husband he loves me how I am. I am just stumbling through, playing this mother thing by ear. But, because he thinks I do a good job and isn't disappointed in my Squibiness...I feel good about what I'm doing.

We did go on to discuss developing talents. I have a piano that was given to me by my mother, and I can play a little, but I'd like to practice and get better. I'd also like to learn how to speak spanish. And, as for the typical homemaking skills, I think if I can prepare a meal that doesn't cause food poisoning, that I am being successful. I think I will also have Savannah teach me how to sew on a button, because what will I do when she is gone? I don't have a desire to learn how to sew clothes, so I think I will just shop as wisely as I can so that I can dress my children in the most economical way.

I am so grateful to be a mother. I learn so much from my children. Even if I am the Squib kind, I wouldn't trade it for anything else in this world.

P.S. If you don't know what a Squib is, you've got to read the Harry Potter books! But, I'll give you the definition. A Squib is born of Wizard parents, but is not a wizard themselves. So, they are of wizards, but don't have the magic...Cynthia