Conversations

Here is a sampling of some interesting conversations I had this week:

Conversation with Lincoln: (I know, he is only 11 months, but I still talk to him!)

Setting: It is 6 am. Lincoln stinks. I'm half-dead.

Me: Lincoln! Why do you keep waking up so early?
Lincoln: Quizzical look.
Me: Oh, it's poop. You wake up early because of poop.
Lincoln: Silly grin.
Me: Why are you pooping so darn early? It is unnatural for me to be awake before 7!
Lincoln: Giggle.
Me: I'm serious! We are waking up because you are an early pooper!!
Lincoln: Giggle.
Me: Why can't you poop at like 10 am?
Lincoln: Giggle.

Conversation with Mark:

Setting: John is home at 8 pm for his lunch break. We are both sitting at the table while he is eating. Mark walks by with the portable DVD player in his hand.

Me: Where are you going with that?
Mark: Downstairs.
Me: It's late. You're not going to start watching a movie right now.
Mark: I was going to watch a movie while I was pooping.
John and I: Hysterical laughing.

Conversation with John:

Setting: John and I are driving home from lunch on his birthday.

John: Last night after work I had four pancakes.
Me: Pancakes?
John: Yeah, there were pancakes in the fridge.
Me: Oh yeah.
John: I just sprayed them with butter spray and ate them.
Me: You ate them cold? (In a grossed out tone of voice).
John: Yeah
Me: Ewww!
John: Well, I wasn't eating them for the flavor, I was eating them because I was hungry!
Me: (I made these pancakes) What?!!?? Gee, thanks!
John and I: Hysterical laughing